Patapon 3 starts with the annoying buzz of an amp being plugged in, as if some godawful garage band was about to rock out. Which is precisely what happens during the elaborately rendered cutscene that follows. Two things I didn't previously associate with Patapon were electric guitars and cutscenes. But that's how Patapon 3 opens, once you've manually paged through each of the 11 pages of the Online User Agreement. You'll be doing this every time you want to play Patapon 3.
The opening is a pretty strong indication that you're no longer in Patapon 2 territory. This is the land of the new Patapons. They're bigger, more interactive, online, and presumably more appealing to those of you who didn't get Patapon. This isn't a charming single-player experience about a tribe of tiny joyful eyeballs worshipping you, the player, as you drum them on their way to a promised land, with parades and feasts between every battle. Now you are actually one of the patapons, with a scant three cohorts tagging along behind your avatar. You equip skills, grind character levels, render down useless loot to its components, and wait to no avail for multiplayer games in hopes of earning team points. This is the failed state of Patapon games, a sad overloud land that feels like the work of consultants who decided the most important thing for Patapon 3 was to provide an online infrastructure, which they then designed so poorly that no one showed up.
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